Tuesday, March 21, 2023

A 7 Year Old Girl

Listen, it's not all roses over here so please don't assume it is like most of social media portrays. I'm having a tough time with a little girl that lives with me. She's okay but whew she's testing my parenting in a big way!

The lack of listening is mind blowing. She thinks she can do everything her way and not listen to us (zero clue who else is like that!!!). It's one thing to not listen to us at home, it's another thing to not listen or pay attention at school. And honestly I don't know what to do about it. Well I'm working on it and have some good ideas but it's zapping me, I'll be honest.

I think there are two types of children - ones that change their ways with praise/rewards and ones that change their ways with punishment. Also, giving them more one on one attention. 

I've always gone the more praise route with both of my kids. I've taken stuff away here and there but nothing substantial that really mattered. Oh, cleaning our base boards was one impactful item that assisted us with cleaning too! ;) Taking screens away isn't that big of a deal to them because they don't watch much, if any, during the week. And I'm not going to take away after school activities because I do think those are important and to be honest - she doesn't LOVE every thing about those all of the time so it wouldn't be a punishment.

So we have a couple of things going on this week:

One, I'm taking them to a play this weekend and if she looks at one screen or isn't in bed by her bedtime every day this week, she doesn't get to go. And I will stick to that to a T and she knows it. And she REALLY wants to go to this play. I'm hoping this instills more structure into her evenings. I'll probably pick something else next week that I can take Grady to and she'd not be happy if she can't go...even if it's to a new playground.

Two, we talked about options (putting a bit of control into her world) and she asked if we could do a $5 reward (not food) at the end of this week if she paid attention and did everything right in class. This is a struggle that I don't want to get too into but I'm really stressed about all of the things with school. She's a girl and at 7 she is starting to find her way. I think it's a touchy situation and there are multiple layers to this. But yes we are doing the $5 reward and she is very excited about it so maybe it'll work! I hope so!

She has always gotten plenty of one on one attention but I'm being a bit more intentional with it - especially with our special journal and taking her to run errands with me even though she may not want to go. She told me last night that she enjoyed going to pick up Wal-Mart with me! It's the little things yall. 

Anyway, I almost feel better after writing this. Maybe you're in the same place? Maybe you've been here and done that? I can only imagine what age 13 will be like. We hear the older they get the bigger the problems get. Yikes. Hoping to build a solid foundation that she can always talk to us and we expect to hear the truth then we can help. Learning one day at a time yall! Us girls are not easy!

1 comment:

  1. I swear it is something in the air because we have been facing similar challenges with our 8 year old over the past 3-4 weeks. Similar to your Miss MA - taking away screen time doesn't really seem to have any kind of an impact, so we have been struggling to figure out how to get behavior back on track.

    Thanks for keeping it real and helping some of us feel less alone!