Tuesday, May 18, 2021

Being Nice

Molly Anne and I have lots of conversations in the car on our way to dance, school etc. Our latest was about always being nice even when someone is mean to you. It was because a friend pushed her to get in line in front of her after PE class and Molly Anne said something not nice back. And she told me all of this the second I picked her up from school that day. She felt badly about it...and she tells me everything. 

Anyway it got me thinking - when someone says or does something mean to you, it’s hard to respond nicely! And I’m sitting here trying to explain it to a five year old but in reality it’s something we work on learning our whole life. Right?!! Even at 38 I’m working on it. I explained to her why it’s always better to be nice. In every situation. And to always be friends with everyone. And to be the one that goes to play with the person on the playground that doesn’t have a friend to play with. Allll of that. But it’s a lot to comprehend and it’s a lot to do right in the moment of a situation like that. We talked about it and she knows right from wrong and we probably won’t talk about that exact situation ever again but I’m sure she’s thought about it again since. 

Another little thing that came up. The four of us were at breakfast the other day and I quietly showed her a pair of shoes that the lady behind her was wearing. I told her how I liked them. Well Molly Anne looks at me and says, “I’m going to tell her that I love them because they’re sooo pretty!” So I said okay. She starts talking to this sweet elderly lady who was sitting by herself and I just let them talk and didn’t walk over. It was the sweetest conversation and she was incredibly kind to Molly Anne. We got in the car and Molly Anne told us that she thought that may have filled the lady’s bucket. I asked her what she was talking about and she told me how a teacher comes into their room every Tuesday and last week she talked about filling others buckets by talking to them and being nice. It was so simple for Molly Anne to talk to her and for Trudy to talk to Molly Anne but it filled my bucket the most I think! I am thankful for Trudy for giving us such a lesson that day and I’m thankful for Molly Anne and her non-shy self that she just went over and started talking to Trudy! All of it made my day!

So let’s be nice! 


  1. I agree with this but also (as mom of two daughters) stress over the idea that women are always taught to “just be nice.” Do I want my daughters to be respectful and polite? Yes. But do I want them to think niceness is always required? Maybe not. I don’t know, it’s so complicated! Would love your thoughts on this.

    1. Hey Emma, I know what you mean! Def don’t want your children to get taken advantage of, I totally agree! You’re right, it’s complicated for sure but in general I think being nice is a good rule of thumb 99% of the time! ;) Thanks for your comment!

  2. Love this!!! A big theme in our daughter's class last year was "filling buckets" and the concept really resonated with her and we still talk about it! We also approach situations in it better to always be nice, kind, and respectful. In the long run it always pays off and as an adult I often try and remind myself that I never know what someone else is going through. It might sound trite but we all have bad days!

  3. I agree Emma - we tend to socialize girls to be nice even at the expense of their comfort and boundaries! I think being "kind" vs "nice" is an interesting way to frame this. To me being nice means not enforcing boundaries or speaking up. Being kind means letting someone know you were hurt but without being hurtful in return, or standing up for a hurt party. Or, as Molly Anne taught us, paying someone an unsolicited compliment!