Thursday, July 3, 2014

First name of in laws

Ehh it's been a blah week.  My Mom had a major back surgery on Tuesday at Hopkins.  They thought it'd last 12 hours but she was in the OR for 10 and under the knife for 8.  So that was good news but the after effects haven't been so pleasant.  She's a tough whip so she'll pull through and hopefully her pain level is down when she recovers.  She hasn't had an easy road.  I'm going up to see them on Saturday...aka entertain my Dad and let the nurses do their job with Mama.


Here's some frivilous talk...

So I was thinking about this the other day.  

When some people get married they call their in-laws by their first name instead of Mr. SoAndSo or Mrs. SoAndSo.  I always call Kevin's parents by Mr. LastName or Mrs. LastName.  Sometimes we call his Mom, "Miss FirstName" but very rarely. 

But in the work place, no matter the age, I call people by their first name.  

The lady we bought our home from - we called her Mrs. Smith because she was 91.  I'm not inferring that Kevin's parents are 91 because they're far from it.  

So, how do you address your elders?

Happy 4th of July!


  1. Hope your Mom gets better soon! She's had a rough road lately!

    I call my MIL by her first name and I call my FIL Sir. It's our "thing". With my ex-inlaws, I called them by their first names. I still call my childhood friends parents Mr. & Mrs. So-and-so.

    Happy 4th!

  2. Hope your Mom gets better! I don't have in laws yet, but my boyfriend's parents have always insisted that I call them by their first names since first meeting them. I also call everyone I work with by their first name. However, I call all my childhood and and some college friend's parents mr or mrs so and so because that's how I got used to addressing them then!

  3. I just make eye contact and start talking :p

    Hope your mom feels better soon!!

  4. I don't normally address Brandon's parents by their names when we're talking. For the longest time it was because I didn't know what to call them. Now when referring to them, I call them by their first names, but it still feels weird. I think things like that get easier when you have kids and then you can always just refer to them by their grandparent names.

    With my friend's moms growing up, it was always Ms. First Name. Now a lot of them are just their first name if I feel like I'm on a more personal level/more contact with them, but others are still Ms. First Name. I think it's changed too because like you said, I work with people who are my parents age and older and I always call them by their first name.

  5. It's funny you say that... I noticed this too. But in a slightly different way. I was born and raised in South Alabama and we called everyone by their first names, Mrs. Debbie, Mr. Sam, etc. When I met my in-laws for the first time I called them by their first name too... Mrs. Susie, Mr. John. They laughed! They had never had anyone call them that... it was always Mr. last name, etc. Then I started realizing that it was a culture for that area. Just depends on the region or area you are in I suppose... here in VA people say Mr. last name and mrs. last name too. It's funny!

  6. I think it depends on who it is. When I used to teach, everyone was Mr. or Mrs., because we would want to make sure we were always modeling for the students. (We would do this after school sometimes from habit too.) I call my husband's grandma Mrs.--, but it seems a bit odd to be so formal with someone who is family! Usually really close family friends are called "Aunt" or "Uncle", so that sidesteps the issue entirely!

  7. I also wanted to say that I hope your mom heals quickly. Surgery is never easy, and I'm glad you can be with your parents for a little bit.

  8. For Elders I don't know - Mr. or Mrs. Last Name. For Elders I do know - it depends on what they told me to call them. For my in laws, who I have a close relationship to, I call them by their first names or just "mom" and "dad" - my husband does the same with my parents. I know not everyone has that close of a relationship with their in-laws, but we do and I love that we aren't "formal" or strange or awkward around each other.

    I hope your mom bounces back quickly!

  9. I will keep your mom in my prayers for a quick recovery!

    I too call Brad's parents Mrs. Couick and Mr. Couick, but my brother in law calls them Bronda and Warren...maybe it's my "new" wife status haha.Either way there's no right or wrong, it's just whatever you're comfortable with.

  10. I'm with Tracy. Growing up in South Louisiana everyone calls people by Mrs or Mr.. and their first name.
    My in-laws thought it was funny and weird but I still call them Mr. Joe and Mrs. Becky.
    Brad calls my parents by their first names.

  11. Since Joe and I started dating when we were 20 I called that Mr and Mrs. We didn't get married until 7 years later so not calling them Mr & Mrs was weird. They want me to call them Mom and Dad (my SIL does). And I can't. Just can't. Too weird bc, umm I already have a Mom and Dad. So recently I have started calling them by their first names. So awkward.

  12. My in laws are only 18/19 yrs older than my husband. So when we first got together I called them by their first names. They were barely into their 40's and didn't feel old and didn't want the mr/mrs titles.

    I mostly call people at work by mr/ms last name. Even my assistants because generally they have always been older than me and it just seems weird and kinda disrespectful not to. But also because they are co workers, not close friends. (I'm from Tennessee)

  13. Wishing your Mom a speedy recovery

  14. I've called my in laws by their first name since the day I first met them and I've never thought twice about, and I know they haven't either. Maybe things are more casual in California, who knows...

  15. So funny you brought this up...I remember when first meeting my high school sweetheart's parents I called them Mr. and Mrs...the only problem was that it then stuck. As the years went on, I never switched over to first names, even though the closeness warranted it. Fast forward several years, and upon meeting Bryce's parents (who introduced themselves by their first names), I immediately referred to them by first names! I didn't want to get stuck still calling them Mr. and Mrs. way down the road! It's seemed to work okay, but I also guess it all depends on the person and what they find appropriate!