I realize this is crazy but from day one of having Molly Anne, I really wanted her to be flexible. I didn't want to be married to certain things. I know that a baby is going to do what a baby does and I would never want her restricted in any way. That's not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is, I wanted her to be able to sleep in a room without blackout blinds or with blackout blinds. I wanted her to have a paci or not need a paci. I wanted her to sleep in regular pajamas and not have to carry sleep sacks around (plus this child would have sweat to death). I wanted her to sleep without a noise machine because I'm not toting a noise machine around (I love you Sarah!). I wanted her to not think we were going to come running every time she made a peep but know that we would be there in an instant anytime she needed us. I wanted her to be able to nap in her car seat or in her crib. I wanted her to sleep with her bedroom door open or closed. I wanted her to sleep with a party going on or in a silent house.
I wanted her to not care about Mills licking her feet so Mills has licked her feet since the instant she got out of the car at our home. I wanted her to have different people put her to bed so I'm not the only one that can put her to bed (because I knew this wouldn't be realistic long term, even though I'd LOVE it). I wanted her to have a babysitter and know that if she weren't with family it would be okay. I wanted her to stay a couple nights without me (I have no choice because of work). I want her to learn to eat anything and everything so HOPEFULLY she isn't a picky eater one day.
I'm no professional (AT ALL, in fact, far from it!) but I have been very intentional about some of these things. I would be perfectly fine being her sole caregiver and sheltering her from so many of life's struggles but is that really fair to her long term? I think she'll be better because of it. But who knows! Knowing my luck, Molly Anne will be the pickiest eater everrrr, will hate staying with anyone but Kevin and I, will require the room to be black dark to sleep, will want a sound machine and will decide she wants a paci when she's 10 years old! Haha!
But we as mothers can only try! We can only do what WE think is right. Who cares about other people's opinions. Who cares about what I wrote above...those are just things we want to do under our roof. You may feel differently. We can just do the best we all can do and support each other along the way! Can I get an amen?!
Yes! Yes! Yes! I say to each their own. As long as it works for your child and your family go for it! My kids were different as night and day as babies and still are today at ages 4 & 7. We laugh at how different our parenting is just between our kids and definitely different from those around us.
ReplyDeleteI love this! And I agree so much that it's so hard to not just say screw it and do everything yourself. Which I end up doing a lot and I need to stop so Oliver can learn to be more flexible as well. We took him to a family party this weekend and he flipped out because it was so loud and so many ppl. It made me realize he needs to be exposed to more. I had no idea stranger anxiety could happen at 4 months but I guess so! You're doing such a good job momma!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. I remember when my brother was a baby, people came into the house and when they heard the baby was sleeping they would whisper and mom would say "It's ok, I want him to be able to sleep with noise." Not that we could run by his room yelling, but we didn't have to be silent. People love the noise machines, but what if you forget it when you go on vacation? Do you really want to run out to the store to buy a new one?
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more
ReplyDeleteI'm so laughing at this because literally every single thing that you listed are items on my own "My baby will..." list for when we have little ones. So nice to know that I'm not the only one :) You're doing a great job with that sweet little girl!
ReplyDeleteI agree with all of this, and this has basically been my philosophy as we get ready for our first to be born this April. I want somewhat of a routine but she also needs to learn flexibility and that she won't run our world and determine everything we do. I think when kids are so used to being comforted and having their way for EVERYTHING, it just sets them up for failure later in life when they realize the real world does not work that way!
ReplyDeleteThe picture of MA with her little scarf- too cute!!
Yes yes yes!!! Especially other people putting MA to bed. My mom didn't do that and I was a pain about going to bed for others for a while.
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ReplyDeleteAmen! I really think it is just luck of the draw if your baby ends up being fussy, picky, has food allergies, etc. We have one friend whose baby was colicky and another who slept through the night right away. I think everyone is just doing the best they can and learning along the way! I know I am!
ReplyDeleteYES! The child I made homemade baby food for, never gave processed food, etc grew up to be my picky eater and the younger one who ate sweets way earlier, ate jarred baby food and French fries as a baby eat anything and everything. And his favorite food is salad. A lot of times they just are who they are.
DeleteYes, yes, yes!!! I agree with you completely! Structure and routines are so important for kids, but being married to them can be just as detrimental as a lack of them!
ReplyDeleteYou are totally right about doing what works under your roof. My kids are both amazing sleepers, eat great, and do better with routines. But what works for mine doesn't always work for others. Plus- I think a lot depends on the parents needs too. I do better with a more routined life- so having them more structured helps make my mama life easier. But I'd never tell anyone they are wrong for how they parent!!! I'd like to add too that even in one family two kids can be vastly different. I thought I was so awesome with my daughter and her eating...did same things with son and he was NOT having it. Lol.
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