Once you get married, holidays become more difficult don't they?
You want to spend them with your husband but each of you have sets of parents to be with too. And then add in siblings and what they are doing with their family or their in laws. It gets complicated and to be frank, not everyone gets their way on how the holiday is going to go.
In 2013 and 2014 we spent Easter and Thanksgiving in Charlotte with Kevin's parents and went to Maryland for Christmas to be with my parents. My parents came down for Thanksgiving too. Two out of three holidays those years, we were in Charlotte.
But in 2015, Molly Anne was born so Kevin and I had to make a decision. We decided to be home for Easter, go to Pawleys Island (to my brother's) for Thanksgiving and be home for Christmas. We thought it was important that even though she was so young, she woke up in HER home for Christmas.
I'm going to do a separate post on Christmas traditions and what all that entails and looks like for this year!
How do you all solve the family dilemma of seeing everyone for every holiday and keeping everyone happy?
After we got married choosing where to go for what holiday was the hardest part for me. Up until we had kids we switched off thanksgiving and Christmas between wilson and Charlotte. Last year we decided to be home on Christmas from now on. We spent Thanksgiving in Charlotte. This year we will be in wilson for both holidays but hope to make a trip to Charlotte during Christmas. I'm thankful we are only a few hours from my parents and can do a quick weekend trip if needed!
ReplyDeleteWhen we were first married my dad made a point of telling us to start our own traditions. It was a great gift. I'm an only child so there is always pressure to be with my parents on holidays. We almost always stay home and invite any family to join us that would like to come. Growing up I had to go to four different homes on Christmas (I had divorced grandparents) and it was such a busy day. It's nice being home! Good luck navigating feelings and holidays - sounds like you've got it figured out.
ReplyDeleteWe host everyone at our home! That way we see everyone. :)
ReplyDeleteGosh I don't even have babies yet but I already relate! What makes it even more difficult is that my mom is remarried and my dad is engaged to be remarried! So instead of having 2 sets of parents, I have 3!! Luckily, all 3 sets get along well so I convinced my mom (who hosts for all of the holidays) to invite my inlaws because they don't have any family around here. So it is a win win! But once my sister and/or I have babies, I have a feeling things will get a little more difficult.
ReplyDeleteI'm able to lean on my pregnancy this year -- we're hosting both because I ain't traveling!!! :)
ReplyDeleteNo babies here, but girl, this is SUCH a challenge. Almost especially b/c no babies here? If that makes sense? We are expected to cater to everyone ELSE. Which I get (mostly) but goodness....since my hubs family lives literally a mile away (yay? no? both?) we see them for like everything, and they get all the small holidays too. So thanksgiving we either stay here with them or go to Clemson to see my parents - we alternate years. But christmas ... oh christmas. The past five years, we've spend Christmas eve with his family, and christmas morning, and then driven ON CHRISTMAS DAY to Clemson - from PI. That's nearly 6 hours. And spend Christmas night with my fam.
ReplyDeleteI'm friggin' over it. Can you tell? Spot on post today? :)
We are hosting both in our home this year and both sets of parents will be here. Lots of cooking and cleaning but I would much rather be home, especially with a young baby.
ReplyDeleteWe traveled last year while I was pregnant and it was miserable. I can't imagine lugging a stroller and carseat and a million bags on the day before Thanksgiving. This is after many years of compromise, though. Definitely one of the hardest adjustments when you get married!
The Lovely Latte
We alternate the best we can. Last Thanksgiving SC was about 5 weeks old, so we went to my parents because it was a shorter drive. We also did Christmas there and my MIL came too! This year we are stopping by my parents and going to my SIL's because she just had the new baby! And the then it is on to visit my in-laws! The best thing I figured out was to make sure I coordinate with my siblings. It is tough because my brother has to work some holidays, and we want to make sure our plans collaborate!
ReplyDeleteThis is my first year being away from home on Christmas but David came to Boston last year so this year we are going to Boston for Thanksgiving and staying in Ireland for Christmas. I'd be lying if I said I wasnt a bit sad about not being home for Christmas but going to try and make the most of Thanksgiving!!!
ReplyDeleteWe always just host everything, and it's kind of annoying! Ha! Every year my in-laws and my parents talk amongst themselves and decide for us that everyone will come to Charlotte for Thanksgiving....and then I have always been adamant that Ella wake up in HER house on Christmas, so everyone always comes here for that, too. I do wish we could do to other people's houses, but it's nice to not have to travel anywhere!
ReplyDeleteI'm not married but if I was and had kids, I imagine I would do the same with Christmas. There's something special about being in your own home on Christmas morning. And from a logistical side, it just seems a whole heck of a lot less complicated.
ReplyDeleteXOKK
I suppose I got very lucky in this regard. My husband has no family in the state aside from his parents so Thanksgiving they come to my parents house. Christmas they come with us to my family's house as well. We do wake up at our house though.
ReplyDeleteFew things stress me out more than balancing holidays and family! In my dream world, we would be at our home for all of our holidays and everyone would come to us... but I think we all know that's just a dream. We have to balance holidays with my husband's parents (who live 15 minutes away), my parents (who live in Texas, so a plane ride away), and my SIL/BIL and their three kids in Baltimore. Add in the addition of my in-laws vacation condo in Baltimore and there are now four locations that are contenders for where holidays should be held. It's so true that once you start figuring in who traveled last, who has to travel the farthest, who has
ReplyDeleteI'm a little nervous about how things will go once CFK is here, but everyone tells me that that's the time when you really get to put your foot down and make your own rules about your own family. Being home on Christmas morning is one of our big requirements, too!
Yes, this is SO TRUE! My husband's parents are divorced so we have 3 sets. And we live within 5 minutes of everyone, so while it's convenient that we don't have to travel far, everyone expects to see us. When we got married we said that we were only going to go one place for each holiday. And then every family started creating "additional" holiday dinners/events, so now we're looking at 3 Thanksgivings this week. Don't even get me started on ALL THE CHRISTMAS EVENTS. Lol. But, when it's crazy and stressful, I just remind myself there are worse problems to have for sure.
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed difficult! My parents are 3 hours away and their home is the hub for the holidays. My married siblings live within easy driving distance to my parents. I'm 1 of 8 and with most of us not close by the only time we are all around happens to be Thanksgiving & Christmas. We always do Thanksgiving at my parents because my in-laws don't really care for the holiday. Christmas Eve is with my in-laws since they are Italian (Feast of the 7 fishes) & it's a big deal for my husband (plus they live close by).
ReplyDeleteEven before children my husband and I always woke up in our apt/house on Christmas morning. When our daughter was just a baby we'd do Christmas morning then drive the 3 hours to my parents. It was hectic. It was extremely hard for me to step back and say no Christmas travel. My parents ofcourse completely understood. We now travel the day after Christmas and stay at my parents for a few days.
We are expecting baby # 3 any day now so we are hosting my in-laws for Thanksgiving. (Thank goodness for whole foods catering!)