Ya know, lately I've been thinking so much about how important I am to Molly Anne and Grady. Of course to Kevin too but this is about being a Mom. I have to make wise choices for my health and things I choose to do day to day. I'm not talking about helping them learn things and how to brush their teeth, day to day stuff. I'm talking about that they need me now and long term. I don't think I'm putting this into words correctly but hopefully you get my drift.
I was reading on our local Facebook Mom's group about a Mom needing someone to explain to her husband what the unspoken Mom burden is. I'm not sure if those were the words she used but that's how I remember the concept. Ya know what, she's so right. We as Mom's have this unspoken bond with our children and I can't even describe it. It's not necessarily a burden but they are OUR children! I know they're the Dad's child too but I feel like it's different. Kevin and I had this conversation months ago and he said he loves them as much as I do but I just told him there's no way, haha! I know we all love our children soooo much but there's something about being "Mama!" Perhaps it was them coming out of me or it was all of those middle of the night feedings or I don't know what!
There have been a few situations in Charlotte of Mom's taken from their young children in different ways. Preventable ways. It has been SO sad to hear about these things, most recently in the last two weeks. I really can't relate to being in a deep dark state because I've never been there but please reach out for help. Any help. A friend, a neighbor, a co-worker, anyone.
Another thing we as Mom's have to do is make wise choices. Don't get in the car with someone drinking. Don't drive yourself after drinking. We must surround ourselves with good people. Have supportive friends. Gosh, I have no clue what I'd do without my mom friends. We have all been there for each other through thick and thin, highs and lows. I am SO fortunate to have a solid friend group. We would all be there in a second if anyone needed something and we've done just that. Find Mom friends. Put yourself out there to make them if you don't already have them. I promise you need them more than you know.
Raising children this day and age is different from many moons ago. The social media aspect is AWFUL. Awful. There are sick people out there that want to nitpick every piece of your life. Even people that you think are friends. Disgusting! I literally do not understand this. Kevin and I were talking the other night about TRUE friends. TRUE friends are hard to find. I named mine right off the hip. Kevin did too.
Anyway, given the circumstances in Charlotte, this topic has really hit home with me lately. We've all been talking about it on a group text and I was talking about it with my friend Ashley too. Let's all stick together and be supportive of each other. Everyone is going through something. Some big, some little. It's all something and important. xoxo
Thank you so much for talking about this subject. I've tried to convey to my husband how I feel so much of the weight of raising our children and I get that he loves them as much as I do but it is just different. My daughter is a teenager and I know I need to let her fly but I remind her that at one time we shared everything and that is a bond that can never be replicated. Anyway jsut wanted to know you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with all of your sentiments. I just had a conversation with my husband last week after reading the article you reference because I feel the weight of being a mom every minute of every day, and I'm just not sure that he truly understands. I'm the one thinking about gifts for upcoming birthday parties, remembering that new blankets need to be sent in the next morning to daycare, knowing that they just outgrew their shoes and buying more, etc. There is always a running "to do" list in my mind of things that I don't believe my husband ever contemplates. He's a great dad (and husband) and loves our kiddos more than anything, but being a mom comes with more than that and it's the hardest job - and I say that as a practicing attorney!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the local mom who recently committed suicide, I just can't wrap my mind around it and all I can think about are those two little ones who no longer have a mama. It makes me so sad that she felt so isolated and so alone that she believed she had no other choice but to end her life.
As a transplant to the area, I need to work harder on building a mom tribe here. You are right...it is incredibly important.
Thanks for broaching these difficult subjects.
Being a mom is definitely special, and sometimes that feels overwhelming (especially when they are babies). My mom gave me a coffee cup that says “sometimes only mom will do”, and it is so true! I haven’t heard about the Charlotte incidents, but mental health is such a huge issue that has a stigma attached. I think it’s also very complicated, so sometimes people don’t reach out and there are tragic results. It’s so horrible for a needless loss of life. I also agree with you about social media, and definitely need to cut my screen time more. It’s tough because sometimes it makes me feel more connected, but it’s a fine line.
ReplyDelete